Words to Say during Conjugal Relation

“I heard a man saying to abu Ja‘far (a.s.), ‘I pray to Allah to keep my soul in service for your cause, I am an aged man. I have married a virgin young woman. I have not gone to bed with her as yet. I am afraid in bed on finding me of such age and the dye on my beard she may dislike me.’ Abu Ja‘far (a.s.), ’When you are there ask her before approaching you to take Wudu’. You also should not approach her before taking Wudu’ and performing two Rak’at Salat (prayer). Thereafter, speak of the glory of Allah and say, “Allahumma Salli ‘Ala Muhammad xva ‘Ali Muhammad (O Allah grant Muhammad and his family a compensation worthy of their serving Your cause).” Thereafter ask her and others present with her to say A’min (O Allah grant his wishes). Thereafter say, ‘O Lord, provide her enough reasons to be kind to me, love me, be happy with me, grant me enough reason to be happy with her, bring us together in the best form of gathering, and the happiest kindness; You love what is lawful and dislike unlawful matters.’ The Imam then said, ‘You must bear in mind that kindness comes from Allah and hate comes from Satan so that people clash and dislike what Allah has made lawful.’”

“Abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.), has said, ‘When you meet your wife hold to her forehead and face al-Qiblah (al-Ka’bah) and say, ‘O Lord, in Your trust I have taken her (in marriage) and with Your words I have made her lawful. If You have destined for me from her a child, then make the child a blessed one, pious, of the Shi ’ah (followers) of the family of Muhammad and you must not make for Satan any share or portion in it (child).”’

“Abu Ja‘far (a.s.), once asked me, ‘When one of you marries, does he know what to do?’ I replied, ‘I do not know.’ He (the Imam) said, ‘When he decides for it (marriage) he must perform two Rak’at Salat (prayer) then say, “O Lord, I want to marry so choose for me of women who is most chaste in matters of her private organs, most protective for me of herself and my assets, of most affluence in sustenance and of greatest blessing. Choose for me a fine child to be a virtuous successor in my lifetime and after my death.’” He (the Imam) said, ‘When you meet her place your hand over her forehead and say, “O Lord, according to Your book I have married her, in Your trust I have taken her (in marriage) and with Your words I have made her (private organs) lawful. If You have destined for me from her womb anything (child), then make the child a Muslim, upright and You must not make for Satan any share or portion in it (child).’ I (the narrator) then asked, ‘How can it be a share of Satan?’ He (the Imam) said, ‘Mention of the name of Allah keeps Satan away. If one goes to bed without mentioning the name of Allah, he sticks his penis, the act is from both of them but the seed is one.’”

“Once, a man came to ’Amir al-Mu’minin (a.s.), and said, ‘I have just married, pray for me to Allah.’ He (the Imam) said, ’Say, 0 Lord, with Your words I have made her marriage lawful and in Your trust I have taken her (in marriage); O Lord, make her child-bearing, loving and not clashing in dislike, use what is found and not ask what to bring home (this and that).”’

“I once heard abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.), saying, ‘When a man wants to marry a woman he should say, “I authenticate my covenant with Allah which is: “maintain in a reasonable way or allow to go with kindness.” (2:229)’”