Failing to Maintain Good Relations with Relatives

“The Messenger of Allah has said in a Hadith, ‘It must be noted that in hatred there is shaving. I do not mean thereby shaving and tearing out of hairs, but it is shaving (destruction) of religion.’”

“Abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.) has said, ‘Be afraid of al -Haliqah; it kills men.’ 1 then asked, ‘What is al-HaliqahV The Imam said, ‘It is failing to maintain good relations with relatives.’”

“Once I (Tsa) said to Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) ‘My brothers and cousins have made life very difficult for me. They have forced me out of the house to another house. If I talk to them I am capable to take away what is in their hands.’ The Imam said, ‘Be patient. Allah will make a way out for you.’ I (the narrator) changed my mind. In the year one hundred thirty-one a plague came and they all died. No one of them was left alive. I (the narrator) then went to see the Imam (a.s.) and he asked me, ‘How is the condition of your family?’ I said, ‘By Allah, all of them have died and not one is left alive.’ The Imam said, ‘It was because of their failing to maintain good relations with you, suspending you from their favors, withholding kindness from relatives and boycotting them. Do you love and wish that they remained alive even though they caused you difficulties?’ I said, ‘Yes, by Allah (I do wish so).”’

“It is written in the book of Ali (a.s.) ‘There are three characteristics, that if found in anyone, he will never die before suffering their consequences: treachery, failing to maintain good relations with relatives and taking a false oath to oppose Allah thereby. Of the acts of obedience with the quickest best result is to maintain good relations with relatives. A people may happen to be unjust in their affairs but maintain good relations with relatives, their wealth increases and they grow rich. False oath and failing to maintain good relations with relatives can leave a town in mins, empty of the inhabitants and transform the family. Transformation of family is discontinuation of the lineage and reproduction.’”

“Once a man came to Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) and complained before him about his relatives. Abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.) said, ‘Keep your anger down and do it (maintain good relations).’ The man said, ‘They do and do it (act against me).’ The Imam asked, ‘Do you also want to act like them, if so Allah will not look to you (with kindness)?”’

“The Messenger of Allah has said, ‘Do not fail to maintain good relations with relatives, even if they fail to maintain good relations with you.’”

“Once Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) said in one of his sermons, ‘I seek refuge in Allah from sins that accelerate destruction.’ The narrator has said that at this point ‘Abd Allah ibn al-Kawwa’ al-Yashkuri stood up and asked, ‘O Amir al-Mu’minin, do sins hasten one’s destruction?’ The Imam said, ‘Yes, it does. Woe upon you, it is failing to maintain good relations with relatives. A family lives together and cooperates with each other, even though they may happen to be a sinful people, Allah grants them sustenance. A family who fails to maintain good relations with relatives face Allah’s depriving them (from benefits), even though they are pious people.’”

“Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) has said, ‘When they fail to maintain good relations with relatives properties are left under the control of the evil ones.’”